Always
by Legendgrass
Summary: She had never seen Adora like this. She hadn't even known she could get like this. She'd always thought of the blonde as an unwavering pillar of sometimes comical positivity. She was stressy, sure, and not without her share of problems, but crying? In front of someone? This was new. This, Catra didn't know how to handle. But she would sure try.


Catra let herself into her dorm room quietly, as she always did. It was part instinct and part an attempt to be conscientious, since her roommate ought to have been asleep by now.

Of course, that didn't mean that she actually was.

Catra spotted her golden ponytail peeking over the back of the couch as soon as she stepped over the threshold and swallowed down a sigh, thinking, _Really, Adora? You're not invincible, you know, _with all the tired affection that she'd grown to associate with her college companion over the past six months. She almost said it aloud, too, but something sudden and visceral stopped her.

It only took her a short pause for her to notice the way Adora's face was a little too pale, her eyes a little too distant. Her arms were crossed and her fingers were digging into her bicep. If that wasn't enough to tell that something was very wrong, the fact that she didn't even notice Catra's entry definitely was.

_Okay, what is going on? _she wondered to herself warily, feeling concern settle like a cold stone in her stomach.

She put her keys down gently and approached the couch on quiet feet, thinking it best to avoid jarring her roommate with any sudden noise. It had the unintended side effect of keeping Adora totally unaware of her presence, though, until she was standing right behind the couch. There she stopped, tapping her fingers against her thigh anxiously. Up close she could see the hollowness of Adora's pale cheek and the flyaways escaping from her usually pristine ponytail. She looked awful. Had she been sleeping? Catra thought she would have noticed if something was off, but she could swear that her roommate had seemed fine until now.

She still hadn't noticed her. Catra hesitated.

"Adora?" she ventured softly.

"Huh?" The blonde jumped in her seat, voice sharper than she'd ever normally use with Catra. When she jerked her head up and registered her for the first time, her gray-blue eyes held an identical edge.

Catra wasn't hurt by the uncharacteristic reaction. If anything, it just piqued her concern. She reached out slowly so as not to spook her friend, and Adora let her rest a hand on her shoulder, though Catra could feel that her muscles were still pulled taut. "Adora, what's up with you?" she coaxed, the words flippant as usual but her tone anything but. She'd never seen Adora so wound up. She wondered desperately what it meant. At the same time, she was afraid of the answer.

Adora's eyes softened from their fight-or-flight expression as they settled on Catra's familiar face. Catra's heart stuttered a little, in a good way this time. Adora seemed calmer just having her here. She never would have expected to have that effect on the buoyant blonde. Usually it was Adora who was the steady presence; the protector; her rock. It felt good to repay the favor, finally. She just wished that it could have been under better circumstances.

"I, uh," Adora cleared her throat and let her steel-gray eyes fall as she began to speak. "I talked to the doctor today."

Catra couldn't help but wince, sucking a stream of air through her teeth. Bad news, then. No wonder Adora was upset. She hated going to the doctor even when nothing was wrong. Now that she'd hurt her leg the other day during soccer practice and it still hadn't improved, she couldn't evade it for long.

She and Catra had hoped the injury wasn't serious. Adora's face said the truth was otherwise.

Dreading the explanation, Catra prompted, "And?"

"And—" Adora let out a hard, shaky breath. "And, uh," She turned her face away, but not before the brunette caught the gleam of tears in her eyes. She raised her arm to wipe them away on her sleeve, futilely. Both of them knew more were on the way. Especially as she finished, "My ACL. I need surgery."

Catra felt her heart drop into her toes and her chest clench. She had to steady herself on the back of the couch as her head went a little light. _Surgery. _She couldn't imagine how much worse it must be for Adora. The thing was, surgery was Adora's greatest fear. It was a miracle that she as a star high school athlete had never ended up on the operating table before, but she'd remained healthy throughout her whole career.

Until now.

"Oh, Adora," Catra breathed sympathetically, because what else could she say? She knew from experience that words would only sound empty. She'd never been good with them, anyway. She was more about _doing. _So she circled round the couch and stopped in front of the blonde, looking down at her with tender, appraising eyes, which Adora still avoided. "What can I do?" she questioned softly.

"I—" Adora tried to speak through her overflowing tears but it came out thick, choked. She coughed miserably and held the heel of her hand to her eyes as if to hold back her emotions that way. "I don't know, Catra."

Which wasn't an unexpected response, although it hit Catra like a punch to the gut anyway. She had never seen Adora like this. She hadn't even _known _she could get like this. She'd always thought of the blonde as an unwavering pillar of sometimes comical positivity. She was stressy, sure, and not without her share of problems, but _crying? _In _front _of someone? This was new. This, Catra didn't know how to handle.

But she would sure try. It was the least she could do for the girl who had tolerated and supported and sometimes carried her through the last six months of college; a tough adjustment for anybody, but especially for a walking dumpster fire like Catra. Plus, Catra _wanted _to help. She _liked _this girl. Maybe a little too much for her own good. But, now was her chance to show Adora that she could care, too—crush or not.

So she reached out and took Adora's shoulder again gently, giving the blonde ample opportunity to shrug her off if she wanted, holding her steely gaze as if flickered up questioningly. Without speaking she tugged Adora forward so she sat up, leaving a space between her back and the armrest. And Adora, though her face was contorted in confusion through her tears, let her. Catra took a deep, nervous breath before she lowered herself onto the couch and wedged into the newly created gap. She pulled Adora's back to rest against her front, and instantly she was able to feel every sob that wracked the blonde's body as if it were her own.

Somehow that broke her heart even more.

"Hey, Adora," she murmured, rubbing the other girl's upper arms with both hands, comforting. It was all she could do. "Is this okay?"

Adora sniffled and shuddered under her touch and Catra paused, not sure if that was a good thing. But then the blonde managed weakly, "Yeah," and warmth pooled in her heart.

_Does this mean she likes me? _her thoughts buzzed unhelpfully, and she tried to quash the notion down before her friend could feel the too-fast kicking of her heart. This was _not _the time to enter gay panic mode. This was about Adora. This was about what she needed. There was nothing romantic about it. Catra could put aside her racing thoughts for long enough to be a supportive roommate. She had to.

So she tried to let her mind go blank and her protective instincts take over instead; hers were pretty good, if she did say so herself. She wrapped her arms carefully around Adora's waist, feeling acutely the contrast between the blonde's fit body and her pillowy sweatshirt as Adora leaned back into her and their warmth blended together. The other girl's head came to lay against her shoulder and almost immediately Catra's shirt was dampened with tears. She was far from caring. The only thing she was concerned with right now was Adora. Holding her; helping her; guarding her.

She tightened her grip as Adora was seized by another fit of sobs. She still tried to cover her face so that Catra wouldn't see her tears; embarrassed or ashamed of them. She needn't have been. Catra wanted to let her know that.

"I'm with you," she soothed. She unwound one arm from Adora's waist and raised it to brush her ponytail aside to expose the back of her neck. There she nuzzled her nose against the light blonde fuzz at her nape, feeling the other girl shiver in response. _Is that normal? Is that platonic? Oh, fuck it, it doesn't matter. She needs me right now. _Catra stopped thinking and kissed her there instead, just as gentle as before, and whispered against the skin, "I'll be with you the whole time."

Adora's light shiver turned into a shudder, and she pressed back into Catra's embrace. Her head rolled to the side to rest in the crook of the brunette's neck and shoulder. Catra got a better view of her face this way, and the tear tracks on her reddened cheeks made sympathy clench its fist around her heart. There weren't any fresh ones falling now, though, which gave her a little comfort. She raised her hand again and brushed away the remnants with her knuckles. Just as she finished, she found Adora's hand closing around her own, keeping her from pulling away. It was big, warm. Grateful. The blonde closed her eyes and her eyelashes feathered against Catra's neck, leaving her a little breathless. She covered it by turning her head and laying another kiss, on the blonde's cheek this time.

Adora took a deep breath through her nose and let it out shakily through her mouth. It breezed warm against Catra's skin and the brunette tried to suppress the tremble that wanted to course through her own body at the touch. She couldn't tell if she succeeded—right at that moment, Adora opened her eyes and fixed her with a half-lidded look that was half tired gratitude, half something else. Something even warmer than the summery buffet of her breath.

"Thank you," she said through a throat scratchy from crying. A gentle squeeze of Catra's hand backed up her words.

Catra felt her face start to heat up and cursed it. Even then she couldn't fight down the overwhelming swell of affection and care and—and _love, _she even dared think—that rose up in her chest at Adora's simple gesture.

She found her own voice hoarse when she replied quietly, rawly, "Always, princess."

Adora smiled through her tear tracks. She resettled her head against Catra's shoulder, snuggling up closer to her chest. Her hand remained overtop the other girl's. Catra held her as if she might come apart otherwise.

They stayed that way for a while, just breathing together. Feeling together. Existing together. Catra was comforted by the way the blonde's face had relaxed almost into a sleeping expression, and her inhales weren't hitched with little sobs anymore. The tension in her shoulders had even come mostly undone. She was no longer on the verge of emotional collapse. She was okay, for now. Catra considered her job done, for now.

But she would gladly be there for Adora when that changed. She knew that her friend would need her again; would break down again, probably soon if her leg did not miraculously repair itself and the prospect of surgery continued to loom. And she knew that they would face rough patches after that. But, she would gladly be there through all of it. She would be there for Adora as long as her roommate/friend/tentative crush/_more_ would have her.

And she hoped that was always.

...


End file.
